Saving jay, p.21
Saving Jay, page 21
part #3 of Breaking Free Series
When we finally reached the huge double doors, they opened, and I suddenly felt like I was in an old movie. I stood there, frozen, as I took in the sights in front of us. The man at the door was dressed in a tuxedo. There was a gigantic crystal chandelier hanging from the high ceiling and two sets of marble stairs leading to the second floor behind it.
I remembered to breathe when I felt Jay’s hand take mine. He was looking down at me with a hint of worry in his eyes, and I made myself smile up at him even though my mind was screaming, Holy shit! Holy shit! Holy shit!
He tilted his head toward the inside of the house, and I nodded. I tightly held on to Jay’s hand as he led me inside. As we approached the threshold to another room, I saw a woman approaching us. She must be Jay’s mom.
“Jason! How are you, darling?” she asked, coming to kiss Jay on the cheek.
She was a beautiful woman with dark brown hair pulled back into a fancy updo. She was dressed in a classic black Chanel dress, and I nearly lost my shit when I realized it was vintage. Just as I reminded myself to stop gawking at her clothes, her eyes came to mine, and I instantly noticed their resemblance to Jay’s.
“You must be Jade. I’m Jason’s mother, Nora,” she said as she extended her hand to me.
I smiled and gently shook it. She covertly checked me out, her eyes sweeping over my dress and studying the tattoos on my arms, before she quickly met my gaze again and smiled.
Please don’t notice the sweat. Oh my God, I’m sweating all over her.
When she let go, I prayed she wouldn’t wipe her hand on her vintage dress. She didn’t.
She just smiled up at Jay before stepping back into the room behind her. “Please come in. Have a drink. Dinner will be ready in just a moment.”
This room was darker than the foyer. The floor was covered in Persian rugs, and a full bar with stools was to the right. Leather wingback chairs faced a huge fireplace on the opposite side of the room. It was May, so the fireplace wasn’t on, but it was still beautiful. Classical music was playing softly in the background, and another man in a tuxedo came up to us.
“What would you like to drink, dear?” Jay’s mom asked me.
My mind suddenly went blank.
What do classy women drink?
“Wine?” Jay asked, squeezing my hand in his.
Oh, thank God.
I nodded. “White wine would be great. Thank you.”
“May I suggest the Didier Dagueneau Silex?” the man asked.
“That would be fine. Thank you, Derek,” Jay replied, saving me again.
Jay guided me toward a large leather couch against the wall by the bar, and I sat down.
He took the seat next to me and put his warm hand on my knee. “Where’s Dad?”
“He’ll be down soon,” his mom said as she took the empty seat next to the couch.
“How’s he feeling?”
His dad hadn’t been doing well, and his health had quickly been declining. He’d still refused help from Jay, and I knew it hurt him. Jay had said nurses were now staying in the house, but I knew he wished he could do more. His father was now in a wheelchair, and his speech was getting worse. People would often ask his dad to repeat himself, and it would only piss him off, so he’d started speaking less and less. I couldn’t imagine how hard it must be for his dad. His mind was still intact, but his body was failing, and he couldn’t do anything to stop it.
“About the same,” his mother said before taking her wine glass from the server. “We’re having Japanese for dinner tonight. I hope that’s all right,” she said, looking at me.
I smiled brightly—probably too brightly—before responding, “I love Japanese.”
She smiled back before looking over at Jay. “I can see why Jade caught your eye. She’s got one of the best smiles I’ve ever seen.”
I could feel myself blushing when Jay peered over at me.
His blue eyes were so warm as they searched my face. “She does, doesn’t she?”
Jay held my gaze for a few seconds, and all my anxiety melted away as I felt that unexplainable connection between us. He always made me feel so safe. I knew he’d protect me from anyone, even his parents.
I heard some movement just as a woman in scrubs walked in, pushing a man in a wheelchair. I assumed he was Jay’s father. He was dressed in gray slacks and a blue button-up shirt. I could tell he’d lost weight by the way his clothes hung loosely on him. His hair was mostly brown with some gray showing on the sides. He glanced in our direction, and Jay stood up, but his father didn’t acknowledge him.
“I thought we were eating,” his father snapped. His voice was confident, but there was a definite slur to his words.
“Yes, dear, we are. Why don’t you come over here and meet Jade,” his mom said, getting up from her seat.
I got up, too, and made my way over to him. I didn’t want to make him move any more than he had to.
“Hi. I’m Jade,” I said with a smile.
He straightened his back and peered up at me. He didn’t look anything like Jay. His eyes were brown, and they had a cold edge about them. His gaze swept down my body, much like his wife’s had, except he didn’t bother hiding it. I felt Jay’s arm wrap around my lower back as he came to stand beside me.
“Jason Clarke,” his father muttered before turning to face Jay.
His father didn’t say anything else. He just lifted his chin a little higher, and I noticed when his jaw clenched. My heart broke a little for Jay. There was no affection in his eyes for his son, and it was awful to witness.
Jay’s mom cleared her throat from behind us. The tension in the room and my anxiety grew with each passing second. Luckily, one of the servers came into the room and announced that dinner was ready.
Jay’s father was pushed out of the room, and the rest of us followed behind him.
Jay
I’d known bringing Jade over for dinner would be a bad idea. That was why I’d avoided it for so long.
As usual, my father was being an asshole. I didn’t know what I had expected, but I’d hoped that knowing his time with us was limited might have softened him up a little. I was wrong.
I pulled Jade’s chair out for her as a nurse positioned my father at the head of the long dining room table. My mother sat across from Jade and me. I made sure to sit closest to my father, feeling the need to protect her from him.
Once we were all settled in our seats, our first course was served, and Jade hesitantly picked up her fork. I put my hand on her leg, hoping it would help her relax.
“So, Jade, Jason tells me you’re an artist,” my mom said, breaking the silence.
Jade nodded beside me as she swallowed her food. “Yes, ma’am,” she said, her voice sounding unsure.
I hated that my parents made her feel this way. I wished I’d had a family who made her feel welcome with a home where she felt comfortable.
My father grumbled, “That shit on your skin is not art.” His hand shook as he lifted his fork before taking a bite from his salad.
My temper began to rise, and my jaw tightened as I looked over at him.
As always, my mother pretended not to hear him. “That’s wonderful. I’ve always loved art. I used to take Jason to museums all the time when he was little. He was so fascinated by it.”
Jade gave her a small smile before glancing up at me. I tried to smile back, but I was sure it wasn’t very convincing.
She moved her hand on top of mine and squeezed it before replying, “He’s got a beautiful collection.”
“Does he?” my mom asked, looking at me, before taking a sip from her wine.
I wasn’t sure if Jade was referring to my tattoos or the art in my apartment, but my mother hadn’t seen much of either.
“My mom has an entire gallery full of art upstairs. Maybe she can show you it after dinner,” I said.
“I’d love that,” Jade said, her fingers lacing through mine.
“Yes, of course,” my mom replied.
My father sat silently, eating his food, as we talked.
“Jason’s father bought me a piece by Gustav Klimt for our tenth anniversary. It’s my most prized possession,” my mom said, looking at him with a warm smile.
She put her hand on his, and he glanced up at her, his look softening a little.
“Wow. That’s amazing,” Jade said, her face showing how sincerely excited she was. “I love his work. The Kiss is one of my favorites.”
“Mine, too,” my mom said. She released my dad’s hand and grinned at me.
Jade was winning her over just as I’d known she would.
“How has work been for you, dear?” my mom asked me before taking a bite from her plate.
“Things are going well. I’ve got some great people working for me.”
My dad dropped his fork on his plate, startling my mom. It hadn’t been an accident. I peered over at him as he wiped his mouth with a napkin.
“How is Red?” my mom asked, trying to ignore my father’s rude behavior.
“I don’t own Red anymore.”
“Oh?” My mother’s eyebrows rose, and she glanced at my father before adding, “I didn’t know you’d sold it.”
“I didn’t sell it,” I said, my body growing rigid as I imagined the thoughts going through my father’s mind. “I gave it to the manager, Faith.”
My father scoffed, and my mother nervously glanced at him. Jade’s hand on mine tightened. If she wasn’t sitting next to me, I probably would have stormed out already.
“Is there something you’d like to say?” I asked, glaring at him.
His cold eyes came to mine, and I saw a muscle twitch in his jaw. I knew he probably wanted to say a lot, but he was either trying to refrain, or he was afraid none of us would understand him.
Just then, the servers began clearing our plates, and then they brought out the second course.
“Thank you,” Jade whispered as someone refilled her wine.
I was already regretting my decision to bring her here. I didn’t want to argue with my father in front of her, but for some reason, I felt a need to defend my decision.
“Faith deserved it. She’d earned it,” I said, looking at my plate. I used my chopsticks to pick up a piece of sushi and put it in my mouth.
“Must be nice to have things handed to you,” my father muttered.
My mom looked back and forth between us, and I knew she could see the fight coming. She’d seen them a million times before. I swallowed my food, and I moved my hand out from under Jade’s and picked up my napkin before wiping my mouth.
“If you have something to say, just fucking say it,” I said, turning to face my father. I tossed my napkin on my plate.
“Jay,” Jade murmured as she moved her hand to my leg.
My dad’s angry eyes met mine, and a vindictive smirk curved his lips. “You’re an ungrateful fool,” he growled, his hands balling into fists on the table. “I put the world in your goddamn hands.” He paused when his words began to slur, and he took a breath. “And you’ve shit all over it.”
“How did I shit all over it?” I asked, my voice rising with my temper. “Because I didn’t follow in your footsteps? Because I don’t live my life the way you want me to?”
“I gave you everything, and you toss it aside like it’s nothing,” he said.
His words were slurring, but I understood them perfectly. I’d heard them all before.
“You give away money with no regard for the work it took to earn it.”
“I never asked for this!” I shouted as I stood up, my chair screeching against the wooden floor beneath us.
I could feel my rage boiling up inside of me as I looked at the coldness in my father’s eyes. Here I was, trying to build a relationship with him, trying to show him that I cared, and once again, he was reminding me why it was pointless.
“Fuck your money! I never wanted any of it!”
My mother gasped, her hand on her chest, as she watched me, but I wasn’t done yet. My heart was beating a mile a minute, adrenaline coursing through my veins.
I met my father’s glare and leaned in closer. “All I ever wanted was a father who gave a shit about me,” I snarled. “But you don’t give a shit about anyone do you, father? All you care about it your fucking money.”
The anger in his eyes began to look more like contemplation, and he diverted his gaze to the table, but I didn’t care. Whatever he might do now would be too little, too late.
“Come on, Jade. Let’s go.”
Jade slowly stood up and exchanged a look with my mother before I took her arm and guided her out of the room.
I was in the tank again, the water pouring in, as I punched the glass. My father lifted his arm, checking his watch, as my mother mingled with their guests. He wouldn’t look at me. He didn’t see me.
“Help!” I shouted, my voice cracking, as the water reached my waist. I banged on the walls over and over, my heartbeat loud in my ears, as my fear grew stronger.
“Look at me!” I yelled.
I was so frustrated, so angry, and so helpless. The water was up to my shoulders now, and I was kicking my legs to keep my head above the surface. My clothes were heavy, slowing my movements. Tears were stinging my nose as I realized there was no use in fighting it. They’d never turn around.
Sitting up in bed, I gasped for air, my body covered in sweat, as I frantically looked around.
It was just a dream. It was just a dream.
My brain began to wake up, remembering where I was.
You’re in bed. Jade is right here. It was just a dream.
I fought to control my breathing, so I wouldn’t wake her. Slipping out of bed, I grabbed a pair of shorts and put them on before leaving the room.
Jade
I rolled over in my sleep and woke up when my hand touched something wet. Gasping, I opened my eyes, and I realized Jay was gone. His pillowcase and the sheets were wet on his side of the bed. I sat up, my eyes adjusting to the dark, as I searched his room. Turning, I put my feet down on the cold marble floor and looked around for something to put on. I spotted Jay’s button-up shirt that he’d worn to dinner, and I slipped it on, buttoning it, as I left in search of Jay.
When I walked into the living room, I could hear a thumping sound coming from down the hall. It sounded like bass from a stereo. I followed it, walking on the balls of my feet to avoid the cold floors. I could feel myself growing nervous as I thought about what I might find. I knew Jay was upset, and I had to be there for him. I just prayed he wouldn’t take his anger out on me.
The music was coming from his gym. The door was cracked, and I could hear Jay’s breath hissing as his fists made contact with a punching bag. Placing my hand on the dark wood, I slowly pushed the door open further. Jay was standing to the left, sweat dripping off of him, as he glared at the bag. His body was breathtaking, hard and sculpted. Every muscle was flexed and powerful as he continued hitting the bag—right, right, left, right, right, left.
He looked like he’d been in here for a while. He had nothing on his hands to protect them, and I noticed his knuckles were red, some of them bleeding. I took a few steps into the room, and the instant Jay noticed me, he stopped. Walking over to the stereo mounted on the wall, he turned the music down. His chest was heaving with his breaths, his hair was wet and matted to his forehead, and his eyes looked so hurt, so lost. My heart started beating faster as he met my gaze. I was scared. I’d been in this position before—looking into the eyes of a broken man, unsure of how to save him.
“Are you all right?” I asked, taking another step.
He swallowed, trying to catch his breath, and nodded, his eyes moving to the floor in front of him. “I couldn’t sleep.”
I slowly walked toward him, and his eyes lifted to mine once I got closer. I felt tears coming as I looked at them. Seeing Jay like this broke my heart. He was in so much pain, pain he’d kept buried deep under his anger.
“It’s okay,” I whispered.
“No, it’s not.” He looked at the punching bag, his jaw clenched.
I noticed his blue eyes had glossed over with tears.
“I don’t know why I keep fuckin’ trying. He’s never going to see me as his son. He’s never going to tell me he loves me…that he’s proud of me.” His voice cracked.
A tear fell down my cheek.
Jay had a distant look in his eyes, right before he shouted, “Why do I keep fucking trying?”
He pulled his arm back and punched the bag again, making me flinch as it swung beside me. I took a step back.
Jay looked at me, his chest still moving quickly with his breaths, as a tear slipped out of his eye. “I’m sorry, Jade. I didn’t mean to scare you. Please…don’t go.”
I shook my head and walked over to him, wrapping my arms around his shoulders. “I’m not going anywhere,” I whispered.
His strong arms pulled me against his sweaty body, and I could feel his heartbeat against mine. Leaning down, Jay buried his face in the crook of my neck, and I felt his muscles tighten as he squeezed me. I could feel all the anger and frustration rolling off of him, but it was his pain that I felt the most. This wasn’t a man hugging his girlfriend. This was my man desperately asking me to save him, to help him, and I was terrified that I didn’t know how.
More tears slid down my cheeks as I hugged him back as tightly as I could. “I’m here,” I whispered again.
His body started shaking. I could feel his tears against my skin, and I heard his muffled sobs as his fingers dug into my back. I’d never seen Jay so emotional, and feeling him break down in my arms was more than my heart could take. My chest ached as I held him and listened to him cry.
“It’s okay,” I whispered. “It’s okay.”
I turned on the shower for Jay, and as he washed himself, I returned to the room to change the sheets on his bed. It was hard to explain, but I felt so much closer to him after seeing him break down. I found comfort in knowing I could offer him my support—something his money couldn’t buy.
