Killarney, p.15
Killarney, page 15
Lachlan’s eyes were almost popping out of his head, she’d never seen him so furious.
‘It’s not your fault, Lachlan.’
‘Yes, it is!’ The volume of his voice was steadily rising. ‘I knew something bad was going to happen. And I did nothing!’ He stood up and looked across at her accusingly. ‘And if I’m being really honest, Dana, it’s your fault too!’ He stormed past her into the hallway, slamming the door behind him.
She sat in the chair, stunned, feelings of guilt blossoming by the second. Was Lachlan speaking the truth? Was she partially responsible for Blair’s death? Or was he blaming her in an outburst of grief? She considered going after him, calling out, but what could she say? Her stomach ached when she thought about Blair and with it came the raw pain of missing Oscar, the bleakness of his death.
Dana ate dinner alone. A few out-of-towners who were staying in the pub were playing cards in the corner but the mood was sombre. At 7 pm she told Cynthia she had a migraine and went up to her room. Someone in the adjacent room was crying and the jukebox was blasting from the dining room below. Lying in her darkened room, her thoughts turned to Blair and how quick she had been to judge him. Was his suicide really an admission of guilt? Or was he depressed about devoting his life to help others, only to have it blow up in his face? How was his mother coping now her only son had died?
She sunk further down the rabbit hole and started to speculate about Jayden. Surely if he was alive, he would have been found by now? Unless he didn’t want to be found? Without thinking she grabbed her phone and did what she’d always done in times of distress – called her ex-husband. For once, the reception was good and Hugh answered on the third ring.
‘Dana. To what do I owe the pleasure?’ He sounded happy. The agitation of their last meeting, when she told him she was staying in Queensland, had evaporated. ‘How’s T-bar?’ he asked, referring to the local nickname for Toowoomba.
‘I’m in Killarney. Trying to locate a missing boy in foster care.’ She wanted to tell him about Blair but couldn’t find the words.
‘Well, I hope you find him. Are you okay? You sound kind of … flat.’
‘We’re flooded in. I’m stuck at the local pub until the roads clear.’
‘If someone had told me you’d end up living in the country, I’d never have believed them. You used to be such a city slicker with your high heels and designer clothes.’
‘Heels aren’t really an option for me these days,’ she replied. She could hear laughter in the background and wondered if he was at the pub watching soccer. ‘How’s things?’
‘Good, actually. I’m glad you called because there’s something I’ve been wanting to tell you.’
Her heart skipped a beat. ‘What’s that?’
‘I’ve met someone.’
‘Oh, okay.’ She tried to think of a response, but her mind was blank.
‘We had an end-of-year celebration at work and Angelo brought his sister along. We really hit it off.’
‘Wow. So, you’re dating again?’
‘It’s more than that. I’ve asked her to move in.’
The world slowed down until all that was left to do was breathe. In and out. She felt like she was holding a shell to her ear and had just found out that everyone on the planet was dead. ‘That’s great. What’s she like?’
‘Her name’s Liz and she’s beautiful, smart and has a Master of Commerce. She’s actually been helping me with my budgeting.’
‘When were you going to tell me about her?’
‘I knew you were going to be like this, that’s why I didn’t want to say anything.’
‘Like what?’
‘Acting like I’ve done something wrong for taking a shot at another relationship after you made it very clear that ours was over.’
There was an agonising silence.
‘What are you up to on the weekend?’ he asked, and she knew he was attempting to steer the conversation towards calmer waters.
‘I’m stuck in this pub until the water starts to recede. You?’
‘Taking Liz to the new restaurant that’s opened across the road.’
A grim urge to laugh bubbled up inside her.
‘Look, Dana, we’re about to head out now, but my phone’s always on if you ever want to talk.’
She hung up, sitting back into the pillows. She felt sick that he’d moved on so quickly and, if she was honest, about how much it hurt.
She pulled the doona cover up over her legs and noticed one of Sean’s hairs on the blanket. It was definitely his, impossibly blond in a way hers could never be. It struck her how hypocritical it was to be angry at Hugh when she had done the same thing herself. But it had been so many hours since she’d heard from Sean that the thought of them having sex was impossible – as though she’d only imagined it. Holding the hair up to the light she felt like an archaeologist poring over an artefact of an event so momentous and so unlikely that it could never happen again. Like the Incas creating Machu Picchu or the Egyptians building the pyramids the night she spent with Sean had crystallised in time. A moment of happiness. And now, in the crumbling civilisation of her life, all that was left was the palest of hairs draped across her fingers.
Morning came, despite another night tossing and turning. Dana rose early and went down the quiet hall. She did her best to ignore the police tape and Crime Scene – Do Not Enter sign that had been plastered over Blair’s room and made her way downstairs. A dog-eared copy of the Warwick Daily News was lying on the bar and she read it as she sat at one of the tables and ate her muesli. On the front page was the headline: Operation Border Control Ready To Blow Lid Off Drug Crime:
Organised crime syndicates moving drugs through the Border Ranges on the New South Wales–Queensland border are being targeted by Queensland Police in Operation Border Control.
A twenty-nine-year-old man was the first to be charged, due to face Warwick Court on May 30. He faces two counts of possession and one count of trafficking dangerous drugs.
Detective Sergeant Ryan Kennedy, a former Killarney resident, is heading up the drug-trafficking task force.
When Dana had finished her cereal, she headed into the kitchen where Cynthia was polishing cutlery, a container of steaming water beside her. Dana pulled up a stool. ‘That looks like a lot of hard work,’ she said.
‘I’m trying to distract myself.’ Cynthia swiped at a knife with a starched white napkin looking exactly as Dana felt, her mouth pinched and face drained of colour.
‘From what?’ Dana asked.
‘This place is starting to give me the shits. So many of the people have started treating me like a waitress, expecting me to run around after them, bring them food. If one more person asks me for a cup of tea, I’m going to knock their block off.’ She gave a rueful laugh. ‘And that’s not the worst of it. Ryan made me swear on the Bible that I’m not to talk about what I want to tell you, but I can trust you, can’t I?’
‘Absolutely.’
Cynthia’s eyes were wide as she lowered her voice. ‘He’s had to store Blair’s and Frank’s bodies in the coldroom because the road to the hospital’s blocked and now every time I go in there to get the milk, I have a major panic attack.’
‘Oh my god. I had no idea.’
‘Sorry, I just really needed to get that off my chest. Anyway, how are you? Manage to get some sleep last night?’
‘I kept having these terrible nightmares of corpses washing up along the main street.’
‘Jesus Christ.’
‘Not to mention, I’ve been trying to get in touch with Angus but I can’t get through … I hope he and his mother are okay.’
‘Well, I’m sure they’re feeling cut off from everyone because they’re on top of the mountain but with any luck things should get back to normal shortly.’
‘Thank goodness.’ She made an attempt at a joke. ‘Seeing you in the hall every morning is starting to feel like Groundhog Day.’
‘Groundhog Day from hell.’ Cynthia smiled and poured Dana a coffee. ‘Have you heard from Sean?’ she asked, sliding the mug across to her.
Dana lifted her chin defiantly. ‘No.’
‘Before the flood, I was organising an open-mic night. It’s a pity it won’t be going ahead because I could have found you a new man – one with no emotional issues.’
Dana sipped the coffee that tasted like warm milk and tried not to make a face. ‘Thanks for thinking of me, but really, I’m fine.’
‘Anyway, he’s an idiot. I just hope he hasn’t gotten into trouble because he’s been larking about in floodwaters and doing something stupid while trying to save the day. That’d be right up his alley.’
They both looked up as Ryan strode past the kitchen, a dark frown on his face. He grabbed a banana from the counter as he made his way to the office. Dana made a mental note to ask him when they were likely to be getting out of there. She picked her next words to Cynthia carefully. ‘Does everyone know about the way that Blair died?’
Cynthia poured the container of water out in the sink and returned the knives and forks to the cutlery tray with a crash. ‘News spreads like wildfire round here so the whole town knew within hours. Actually, a few of the locals are holding a wake tonight at a friend’s house.’
‘One minute they’re pointing the finger at him and now they’re holding a wake in his honour?’
‘I think you should come. It’s just a few close friends. If nothing else, it might get you out of your head for a bit.’
She couldn’t think of anything worse. ‘Sure. Come and grab me when you’re going.’
Ryan was sitting at the computer by the window, staring at the screen, his face pale as he sipped from a mug of coffee. There were dark circles under his eyes as he turned to look at Dana and she felt a wave of compassion for him. No doubt he was the one who’d had to get Blair’s body down from the fan, store it in the coldroom and deal with the paperwork. She stared at the yoga mat on the floor, the tangle of bedding that lay on top.
‘Did you sleep in here again last night?’ she asked.
He shrugged. ‘It gives me a bit of a break from the station.’
‘Yesterday must have been really awful.’
His face revealed nothing. ‘Perks of the job.’
‘Sorry to bother you, but I was just wondering if anyone has been out to Queen Mary Falls? My twelve-year-old neighbour has been staying out there with his mother, and his grandmother will likely be worried about them. I was going to try them again on the landline. I can come back later if you’d like?’
Ryan pushed off the wall and swivelled his chair to face her. ‘It’s okay. I’ve been preparing a report for the coroner but I’m done now. And I think the power should be back on out that way.’ He shot a look at his watch. ‘I’ll leave you to it. I’m due to give the morning briefing in a few minutes.’
‘At least with suicide it should be a straightforward report,’ she said. When he didn’t reply she realised he was probably adhering to confidentiality provisions. ‘Do you have any idea when we’re likely to be going home?’ She hated the fact that she was burdening someone who had enough on their plate, but the thought of spending another night at the pub was almost too much for her.
‘Your guess is as good as mine.’ He stood and removed a jacket from the back of his chair, swiping at a smear of dirt on the lapel before throwing it on. ‘I’ll leave you in peace.’ He shut the door behind him.
Dana dialled Tina’s number. She sent up a prayer that this time she wouldn’t get the engaged signal. She was about to hang up when she heard Tina’s voice.
‘Hey ya,’ Tina said.
‘Hi, Dana here. I was just wondering how you’re both coping in the cabin?’
‘Bored, is how we are. Climbing the walls. I have to tell you, I’m struggling now that I can’t go to my AA meetings anymore. And my little mate over there is the worst. I finally cottoned on to the fact that I just needed to find him some books and that’s shut him up completely. But yeah, the sooner we can get into town again, the better.’
Dana picked up a snow dome from the desk and shook it, watching the white flakes settle on Santa’s reindeers and the sled they were dragging across the sky. ‘I don’t suppose you’ve seen Sean at the shop in the last couple of days?’
‘No,’ Tina said sharply. ‘I heard he was with you.’ There was an awkward moment of silence, making Dana wonder if Tina was jealous. ‘I guess you’d be wanting to talk to Angus then?’
‘Yes please,’ Dana said with relief.
There was a rustling noise as she handed the phone over.
‘Hi, Dana,’ Angus said brightly.
‘Angus, it’s so good to hear your voice. I’ve been worried about you.’
‘I’m fine. I was pretty bored at first, but then this woman who lives next door gave me this book, Flowers in the Attic. There’s a whole series and I’ve been getting into them. They’re so creepy.’
Dana despaired over Tina’s lack of supervision. ‘Well, those books are quite adult so just remember you can always stop reading if they get too much for you.’
‘Nothing I haven’t seen before.’ There was a note of bravado in his voice.
‘And what else has been happening?’
‘Nothing much. We called Nan last night to let her know what’s happening. Then we watched the news in the shop and there was a story about Jayden. The police said they were going to offer a reward to anyone with information on his disappearance. That means they think he’s dead, don’t they?’
Her stomach dropped. ‘I hope not.’
‘Well, there’s a motorbike in the shed so I was thinking I might head out tomorrow, see if I can find him.’
‘Please don’t, Angus. You don’t have a licence to drive a motorbike, and even if you did, there’s so much floodwater that trying to ride a bike will be extremely dangerous.’
‘Well, I’ve got to do something.’ Angus paused. ‘He’s a friend and I think he must be running away from something.’
‘Like what?’ Someone knocked on the office door.
‘I don’t know. I just think he was scared the last time I saw him. I think he was running away.’
‘Not everyone’s running from something, Angus,’ she said, thinking about the number of times he’d run away from Susan’s home the previous year.
‘Well he was.’ Angus’s voice held a note of defiance.
A woman opened the door, a look of annoyance on her face as she jabbed her finger in the direction of the phone.
‘Anyway, I’m really sorry, but I have to go. I’ll give you a call tomorrow and hopefully I’ll be able to tell you when we can leave. And stay safe. No riding around trying to find Jayden.’
She was about to leave the room when she spied a myrtle green notebook on Ryan’s desk. Moleskin, with a number of pages ripped out. She picked it up and turned it over in her hands, trying to imagine him writing in it. Perhaps he was more interesting than she’d given him credit for. She flicked it open to a page that had been dog-eared and began to read the first few lines of a Robert Herrick poem.
Gather ye rosebuds, while ye may.
Old time is still a-flying
And this same flower that smiles today,
Tomorrow will be dying.
Was she making the most of her life, she wondered as she snapped the book shut. Was this all there was trapped in a small town, searching for a lost boy? Wondering what part she’d played in one man’s death, while wasting time on another she barely knew.
12
Cynthia and Dana pulled up at a weatherboard house on stumps that were so high it had the appearance of being on stilts. They lugged plastic bags filled with soft drink, potato chips and six-packs of beer through the front yard towards an undercroft filled with junk – old mattresses and broken door frames. Above them, a sheet had been draped across the balustrade with a love heart painted on it.
‘Whose house is this?’ Dana asked, as they went around the side of the building and into the backyard where a dangerously high bonfire was licking at straggly eucalypts.
‘Belongs to Blair’s cousin,’ said Cynthia. ‘I’ve never met him, but he was the one who put the message on the community noticeboard about the wake.’
They left their bags on the table and joined a small group sitting in a circle around the fire. Dana pulled up a rickety chair next to Cynthia and promptly received an acrid blast of smoke to her face. Lachlan was sitting across from them, and despite the haze in the air, there was no mistaking the anger burning in his eyes. She moved to the left, looking up at the half-dead trees and debris trapped in the branches from the recent flood. A stench rose from the ground as though everything was still wet. She clutched her jacket around her, wondering what on earth she was doing here and how quickly she could excuse herself and return to the pub.
Cynthia passed Dana a beer. ‘What’s that all about? I thought you guys were friends.’
‘We are.’ Dana looked cautiously across at Lachlan who was now deep in conversation with the man beside him. ‘But it hurts my feelings that he’s being this cold. I didn’t know he had it in him.’
A short man with dark, shoulder-length hair ambled down the back stairs of the Queenslander with a portable stereo. He placed it solemnly in the centre of the group then pressed play. The synth pop of New Order’s ‘Blue Monday’ filled the air.
A woman on Dana’s other side leant in and introduced herself. ‘I’m Jessa,’ she said. As the flames lit up her face, Dana saw that she had striking green eyes. ‘How did you know Blair?’
