Tall tales, p.1
Tall Tales, page 1
For anyone wishing upon a falling star:
Watch out, it might be an asteroid coming to destroy the world! AAAAAAAAAAH!
CHAPTER 1
Once upon a time, Lena the Giant would never have imagined having an audience of her own kind as she fought her way through a patrol of Faceless, the Golden King’s mind-controlled army. But everything was different now, after she’d received her epithet from the Sparktender, and the other giants had seen her for who she really was: a five-and-a-half-foot tall giant, just like the rest of them in every way but height.
“Rip ’em up!” her father shouted, his voice a bit muffled by a bubble of thinner air, to keep him from getting air sickness down on the ground. “That’s my girl!”
The visit had started as a test of the new magical bubbles, only to be interrupted by a Faceless patrol. Fortunately, her guests had been more than happy to wait as Lena took out the Golden King’s soldiers. Her father in particular had offered to help, but Lena had refused, not wanting to share.
A Faceless in a full suit of black armor swung its magical sword at Lena, and she ducked beneath it, then kicked out, knocking the Faceless into a tree. It slid down the trunk, then lit up with small bursts of light as the brainwashed Lilliputians inside all teleported away.
“Aw, they’re escaping!” Creel the Sparktender shouted.
Lena frowned, then pointed at the pile of Faceless armor she’d already accumulated. “I know, they’re quick. But that’s why I grab trophies whenever I can!”
“Just watch out for those swords of theirs!” her mother said, wincing as another Faceless drove his sword down, slamming it into the ground just inches from where Lena had been standing. “They’ll take away your strength again!”
Her mother had a point: the last time Lena had actually been struck by one of their swords, she’d lost all of the giant power in her arms. Sure, it’d come back over the last few weeks, and she was finally feeling normal again, but that wasn’t something she wanted to repeat.
At least for her, it’d just been strength. Half of the residents of the Cursed City had been hit as well, changing them back to their non-cursed forms, which almost none of them preferred. Just like her own power, though, the residents’ magical curses had returned, and the entire city’s population was back to normal. Or the Cursed City version of normal.
Except now the residents also knew Lena’s secret, that she was actually just a very short giant, not the regular human they’d taken her for. At first they’d treated her with fear and paranoia, but after she’d helped save the city from the Golden King’s army, they’d come around quickly.
“Behind you!” her father roared, almost knocking a few of the remaining Faceless off their feet with the power of his voice. Lena kicked back without looking and sent another Faceless flying into the woods.
“Lena,” said Rufus, her horse-sized cat, as he trotted away from her mother’s foot and settled himself down on the ground right in the middle of the battle, no longer afraid of the Faceless after fighting them with Lena so many times. “I am hungry. Treats?”
“Just a minute, little man,” she said, punching another Faceless in the helmet, which went flying off. Without the protection of the headpiece, various tiny men and women inside quickly scrambled down farther into the armor, at which point several more bursts of light appeared as they teleported to safety.
These were Lilliputians, as small as giants were big, and the Last Knight’s own people. For years they’d been infected by the Golden King’s shadow magic, being forced to fight under his command. Fortunately, the Last Knight had used a magical item called the Cauldron of Truth on some captured Faceless to free their minds, and those Lilliputians had then returned to their homeland to help start a rebellion against the Golden King.
But there were far more Lilliputians still under the shadow’s power than had been freed, and the king wouldn’t let up until he destroyed the Cursed City. Unfortunately, without the Cauldron of Truth, all Lena could do was make sure these Faceless never got anywhere close. The city’s protective spell had just about been restored, ensuring that no one with any bad intentions could even find the city. Mrs. Hubbard had spent countless hours the last few weeks working to get it back up, but the magic took time, and the city needed protecting.
And that’s where Lena came in. After all, giants fight to show their might, as the saying went, and there was nothing Lena enjoyed more than getting to use her full strength to protect her friends and loved ones.
“Last one!” Creel shouted as a Faceless turned away from Lena to stalk Rufus. She gasped, the idea that her cat might be in danger sending her into a fury, and leapt forward with all her strength. Her giant power propelled her straight into the Faceless, and she slammed the armor’s torso right off its legs.
“Get ’em!” her father shouted as brainwashed Lilliputians came pouring out of the armor, each one equipped with their own magical teleportation device. Lena knew that if she could just grab one, she could bring them to the Last Knight and free the Lilliputian’s mind.
But even with Rufus joining in to hunt the tiny people, it was quickly apparent that they were both too slow, as the Lilliputians all disappeared, leaving behind that same burst of magical light. Lena growled in frustration, but she really couldn’t complain. After all, the Cursed City was safe, another Faceless patrol had been wiped out, and she’d even gotten to show off a bit for her parents and Creel.
“Look at you go, Lena!” her father shouted, pulling out a nearby tree and shaking it in excitement. Her mother and Creel both began clapping, and all three giants grinned widely. The praise hit Lena almost like a giant punch, and she took a step back in surprise. This was just all so new and wonderful, not having to hide her true size from other giants, and even getting to flaunt her strength for them. It was like nothing she was used to, and she never wanted it to end.
But even the giants’ magical air bubbles wouldn’t last forever, and she didn’t want her family or Creel to suffer from air sickness, which fogged up giants’ brains to the point they lost all control, and might potentially put the Cursed City in danger. So while she could have listened to their applause for another few days, it was time for them to climb back up the mountain to the giant village in the clouds.
“I’m so glad you could all come down to visit!” she shouted up at them. Her mother pushed one of her fingers into the ground, and Lena threw her arms around the finger, hugging it tightly. “Promise you’ll come back soon!”
“We certainly will, now that we can do it safely!” Creel said, tapping the air bubble around his head. “And please thank that witch who came up with these again. They’re just fantastic.”
“I will!” Lena promised, knowing she owed Mrs. Hubbard big-time, and not just for the bubbles. The owner of the Boot-ique, a Cursed City store built within a discarded giant boot, Mrs. Hubbard had openly welcomed Lena when she’d first visited. There was no one in town that Lena owed more to, and that debt just kept growing. “But you should all go back now before the thinner air starts running out in there.”
“Love you, Lena girl,” her father said, his voice a bit gravelly as he sniffed. He tried to wipe a tear away, only to smack his finger against the air bubble, so he looked away instead. “We’re just so proud. So, so proud.”
Lena had to look away herself, though she couldn’t hide her own loud sniff. She rubbed the back of her hand against her now-wet eyes, then waved at her parents and Creel as they turned to clomp back toward the mountain that once Lena had descended to explore the human world below the clouds.
“Treats now?” Rufus said, bumping his head into her impatiently. At his size, he almost knocked her over with every headbutt.
“Let me just tie up all the armor, okay?” she said, moving to do just that. “If we leave it out in the open, another patrol might find it, and figure out they’re close to the city.”
Rufus’s ears flattened in irritation, but he helped collect various pieces of armor using his teeth as Lena snaked a rope through it all. A few moments later, she stood back up with a satisfied sigh and surveyed the field of battle.
“Not too bad,” she said, nodding. “Didn’t even knock down a tree this time. Other than that one Dad pulled up.”
“Lena is the best,” Rufus said through a mouthful of helmet. “Treats? Treats. Treats?”
She scratched behind his ears, then moved to grab the roped-together armor, happier than she’d ever been in her life. And the best part was, even with the threat of the Golden King out there, she knew that between herself, the Last Knight, and her genie friend Jin, they could handle it and keep everyone safe.
After all, with a genie on their side, what could possibly go wrong?
CHAPTER 2
This is all wrong!” Jin shouted at the translucent ghost woman standing in front of him. He pointed at the page of the Half Upon a Time Story Book he’d just read. “How did a fairy queen ever beat an ifrit, an elder genie?”
Jillian, the Cursed City’s Invisible Cloud of Hate, just sighed. “You’ve been reading that book for what, weeks now? And you’re still not done?”
“Hey, with writing this good, I want to enjoy it!” Jin said indignantly as the walls shook in his new home in the Cursed City, a loud reminder that Lena had visitors outside the city.
“ ‘Writing this good’? This must be the only book you’ve ever read, I’m guessing?” Jill asked with a snort.
Jin narrowed his eyes. “Yes, and you’re the one who wanted me to read it in the first place!”
&
Jin raised an eyebrow. “What, my house?” He glanced at the bed, table and chairs, and small kitchen in the house he’d subtly added to the list of Cursed City buildings that needed rebuilding. Okay, it hadn’t exactly been destroyed in the fight against the giants like most of the rest of the city had, since it hadn’t even existed at that point… but for all he’d done to help the city, Jin felt like he deserved a place to rest apart from the magical ring that granted its bearer three genie wishes.
“No, not this place, I meant everything with the Golden King and the Last Knight and all,” Jill said, rubbing her forehead, which she seemed to do more and more often with him for some reason. Maybe she was itchy.
“I haven’t seen either of them in the book so far,” Jin said. “What I have seen is this random prince’s fairy godmother fights a genie, and that’s after one of her people trapped it in a magical mirror for years. Who are these fairy people, and why do they hate genies so much?”
Jill groaned. “Fairies? Really? We’re going that basic? Okay, fine. How much do you already know?”
“Only the worst parts!” Jin shouted. “From what I was told, the genie elders started this whole serve-humanity-with-wishes horribleness because an ifrit was out of control and almost destroyed this world. But if this book is right, that all only happened like ten years ago?”
“Twelve,” Jill corrected.
“Which means I’m the first and only genie who’s ever had to do this!” Jin continued to shout, floating in the air now, he was so upset. “I’d thought this was going on for thousands of years!”
What difference does it make when it started? asked the cosmic knowledge in Jin’s head, the sum total of information contained within the known universe that Jin couldn’t access directly, but instead was controlled by the horrible, evil, cruel voice in his mind. Apparently the genie elders thought he wasn’t ready for omniscience yet. What did they know, though?
Um, everything, just like I do.
Including that I was the first genie who had to go through this whole be-selfless trial?
Of course, the cosmic knowledge said, its calmness making Jin even angrier. What does that matter?
Because it’s wrong, and no one should have to do it, especially me! But at least if other people had to go through it, then I wasn’t alone or something.
“Oh, it’s definitely a scam all right,” Jill said, answering the last thing he’d said out loud. “But is that all you know about fairies?”
“Well, now I know they’re evil and hate genies, so what else do I need to know?”
Jill sighed. “They’re not evil, Jin. Just the opposite. They tried to protect the world from the Wicked Queen, and anyone else who uses shadow magic. And not all fairies are like their queens. Most are tiny flying creatures you’ve probably seen around the Cursed City, with wings as big as their bodies. They look like little humans—”
“Not this fairy queen, Merriweather!” Jin said, tapping the page again. “She was taller than your brother. So what’s her story?”
The ground shook again, and the new house creaked louder this time. Hopefully the Cursed City residents that Jin had ordered to work on his place had built it up to giant code. Now that Lena’s parents could visit safely, this kind of shaking was going to get a lot more regular.
“I was getting to that!” Jill roared. “Regular fairies are small, but the fairy queens are the size of human adults, and no longer have wings. And Merriweather is the queen of the queens, basically.” She tilted her head thoughtfully. “I’ve also heard there are fairy princesses, but who knows what they look like.”
“Yeah, okay, but the prince in this book said this Merriweather was his godmother,” Jin said. “So what, when they’re not fighting shadow magic, the fairy queens just serve human royalty? Fancy rulers protecting their own kind at the expense of normal people?”
Jill started to respond, then paused. “Yeah, that part isn’t great. But mostly, the fairy queens really are a powerful magical force for good—”
“Except when they’re throwing ifrits in magic mirrors,” Jin said, fuming. “I swear, if I ever find this Merriweather, I’m going to… well, probably run in the opposite direction, but not before giving her such a dirty look!”
“She wasn’t the one who trapped that ifrit,” Jill said, shaking her head. “The one you should be mad at was a rogue fairy queen named Mal—”
“Yeah, yeah, I read that part,” Jin said, rolling his eyes. “Whatever. I think they’re all terrible. Would have served them right if the ifrit had destroyed the world, maybe just for like a minute or two.”
“Hey, I’m not saying it didn’t deserve to be angry!” Jill shouted. “But put that anger into a hobby or something. Take up pottery, don’t destroy the whole world! There are a lot of non-fairy queens who didn’t trap anyone in mirrors here, if you hadn’t noticed.”
“Maybe I’ll put this Merriweather in a magic mirror herself,” Jin said, nodding. “See how she likes it.”
Very original, the cosmic knowledge said.
Shouldn’t you stick to facts, not opinions? Jin thought back.
Here’s a fact: you’re getting off track about the fairy queens. You were supposed to be reading about Sir Thomas, the Last Knight. Or do you not remember how you overheard his conversation with that Lilliputian Lena captured? How Thomas wants to take over the Golden King’s shadow magic and use it himself?
Right, right, that whole thing. The cosmic knowledge did have a point. Lena’s hero, Sir Thomas, was a Lilliputian, just like the Faceless, something Thomas had kept a secret from the Cursed City by wearing a human-sized suit of armor and operating it from the helmet. And that wasn’t the only thing the Last Knight was hiding: he’d actually served the Wicked Queen years before, a tyrant with the power of shadow magic, just like the Golden King. Coincidence? Jin didn’t buy it.
Maybe you’d know if it was coincidence or not if you finished the books, like Jill said, the cosmic knowledge pointed out.
Jin rolled his eyes. Hadn’t he gotten enough of the story from Jill before even opening the book? And worse, Jill let it slip that Thomas didn’t even show up until the third Story Book, Once Upon the End. So now he had to read three books just to find out more about Thomas?
That’s traditionally the way to learn things, yes.
Or, hear me out, I could just lie and pretend I’ve read them, and then trick people into telling me what I need to know.
Oh, of course, what a classic. Let’s see how often you’ve managed to pull that off. Checking now, I’m sure it’s a long list… no, it’s zero. Zero times. That was easy.
Jin growled quietly but didn’t respond. None of this mattered anyway. He’d already told Lena what the Last Knight had said, how he wanted to use the Golden King’s shadow magic himself, and she claimed it was probably for the good of everyone. Right, of course, because working for someone who called themself the Wicked Queen would definitely have the world’s best interests at heart.
Okay, sure, this Wicked Queen person had apparently used shadow magic on all of Lilliput, taking over its people and forcing Thomas to serve her. But somehow Thomas had been freed and set out to save the rest of the Lilliputians from the shadow, only to have the Golden King take it over and use them as his Faceless army.
While it might make for a good story, what it didn’t do was help Jin prove to Lena that the Last Knight was a bad guy. And even worse, she now seemed to trust Jin less, because she thought he was trying to turn her against Thomas! It was all basically a nightmare, considering how cute Lena was.
“I don’t know why I’m even bothering with these books,” Jin said to Jill. “Lena is convinced Sir Thomas is a big hero, no pun intended, and won’t listen to whatever I have to say about him.”
“So show her,” Jill said, narrowing her eyes. “You’ve got magic. Take her back in time, so she can see him sending the world’s greatest hero, i.e., me, to get turned into a golden statue. Or show her how he was cackling evilly about using the Golden King’s shadow magic himself!”
He wasn’t cackling evilly, the cosmic knowledge in Jin’s head pointed out. He didn’t even laugh at all. Jill seems to be a bit biased.
